Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Apprehension....... ***sigh***

It is said that thinking can get you in trouble. I think I am in trouble because I have been thinking about A LOT of things!!!

Thought #1: Is "It" worth it? You have to determine what "IT" is. "IT" will be different for every person. For me, right now, "IT" is Lap Band. Is "IT" worth the $$$--the liquid diet--the watching what I am eating--the water walk (frequent trips to the bathroom because of drinking alot of water)--the hunt for a protein drink that won't make me gag--exercising--pain, muscle aches,.........oh, the list is HUGH! ***sigh***
Is "IT" worth it? YES

Thought #2: Life will change. It is up to me if it will be a good or bad change. It MUST BE a mind set change......but it will take a long time----am I up for this? Am I ready for the "long haul"?

Thought #3: I am thinking the key to remaining focused is remembering why....why do I want the Lap Band, is "IT" worth it........

...To be healthy
...I am tired of being fat.
...So I don’t feel disgusted looking at myself in the full-length mirror
...To fit comfortably in an airplane seat.
...To be able to run up a flight of stairs.
...To not sweat so much.
...To be able to seat in a chair with arms and feel comfortable.
...To never have to worry again whether I will fit in a booth at a restaurant.
...So my feet don’t hurt so much.
...So my knees don’t hurt so much.
...So my back doesn’t hurt so much.
...So I’m not always huffing and puffing when I walk so far.
...So I don't have to put a washcloth under my pot belly to prevent chaffing
...So I can buy clothes anywhere.
...So I don’t feel out of place in a “normal” size clothing store.
...So I can paint my toenails
...So I don’t feel so out of control about my eating.
...So I am not constantly hungry.
...To be satisfied on small amounts of really good food.
...To enjoy my food
...So that I have more energy.
...So that I don’t ever have to deal with discrimination just due to my size.
...To sit on the floor and not have to do ridiculous maneuvers to get up.
...To be able to cross my legs properly.
...So my ankles don’t get swollen when it’s hot out or after work.
...So I dont have to use so much powder so my fat rolls won't stick together
...So I can get closer to the table when I’m eating to avoid getting food on the "boobshelf"
...To get off blood pressure meds.
...To have a regular towel wrap ALL the way around me.
...So that I never have to see the term “morbidly obese” (unless combined with “formerly”) on my medical chart.
...To be the size my mind's eye sees
...To not tolerate Texas summers
...To be successful at losing weight for the first time ever.
...So my husband has a hot wife.
...So that when my husband tells me that he thinks I’m beautiful no matter what I weigh, I don’t think he’s just humoring me.
...So that if I’m ever stuck in a tall building during an emergency, I’ll know I can get down all the stairs.
...To go hiking again
...To prove to myself that I can meet any goal I set
...To be able to wear high heels comfortably
...To wear pretty bras and not just huge, functional ones.
...So I can wipe butt clean with no struggles
...So I don’t have to keep starting new diets in hopes that this will be “the one”.

Is "IT" worth it?

Ya-----I think it is!

PS: I must thank Stephanie at Electric Lady Band for making this list that I used to describe my thoughts exactly! It's amazing how much we have in common! Thanks Stephanie!


Fluffy said...

Hi Cheri!
It is worth it. Is it easy? I'll be honest - no. Does it require effort and behavior changes? Yes. It's only a tool. But if you are committed, you will be successful. I can remember second guessing myself...uh, even right before I was knocked out! I think it's totally and completely normal for many. I look forward to reading about your SUCCESS and congrats on the weight loss so far.

Dr. J said...

I had fear of failure...massive fear of failure. I was banded last December and am down 70lbs. Not anything to scoff at that is for sure. I didn't change a whole lot at first, but now I have...and I wanted to. craved the change and the workout and the healthier foods. it is a challenge for sure, but best thing I have ever done.

also, you have happened upon a great group of bloggers who have amazing suggestions, support, and community. There are some good shakes out there and alternatives to shakes for when you get sick of them. also, there are lots of docs who have modified liquid diets. mine wasn't so bad. =D I am about to post some shake recipes either tonight or tomorrow. So watch for them!

You can totally do it. But it is a HUGE decision and a lot of money for sure. if you have any questions you can message me. i have not been around as long as some of the other gals on here but i know a thing or two!

Dr. J said...

and a fellow TEXAN!!! awesome. =D

Grizzlyrider said...

That list is soooo familiar. I think all of us had the same fears, especially the fear of failure. I know I did. The wonderful thing is it does work. At first it is like magic as long as you follow the rules. Once you lose weight you have to work harder at it. But, I am one that doesn't like exercise either. I lost 96 lbs and now have been sitting at that weight because I don't. BUT, when have I ever lost 96 lbs and kept it off before. It is wonderful and I know I can lose more when I get working at it. Many of the things on your list are off mine forever now. I especially love it when we go out and I can fit easily in a booth or even those dumb little plastic chairs and tables that are hooked togther. Sooooooo worth it. You will not regret getting your lapband!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi. New Follower.
Your list looks very familiar..... I had a lot of those same things on mine. I am slowly crossing them off and I can smile when I say that.
Fears? Oh yes? Wondering if I would fail. Yup, I still do.
I am 15 weeks post op and have lost 48 Lbs. I am not setting any records but it is damn good loss and it has made a world of difference in how I feel. Every minute of every day. It is that great.
Is it easy? Heck no. I work out nearly every day and I still have to control my eating and stop eatign something that just tastes good because itis enough. But the band makes it possible to get portion control under your control.
As for exercise..... I just plain couldn't before- I hurt too bad. I can now and I don't hurt nearly as bad. My knee and ankle pain is nearly non-existent.
I almost had myself talked out of the lap band because of my fears. Now, 15 weeks later, I will tell you it is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself.

Amanda Kiska said...

Hi Cheri, I was banded in February 2010 and have lost 115 lbs. I am now at goal and am so happy I did it! Come by my blog http://amandakiska.blogspot.com

Christine said...

Hi Cheri! I'm a new follower, too! My blog is here:
I was banded 2.5 years ago, lost 102 pounds (made my goal weight) and I'm attempting this weird thing called "Weight Maintenance." I've pretty much been through all the different things with the gastric band that you can think of, so if you have any questions just holler! I love your list. You're right--it's very worth it!

Robin Wine Girl said...

Hi Cheri! I was just having the same thoughts myself. I could have posted the same identical post myself. We are not alone and keep up the good work!