Thursday, September 29, 2011

A First and A Last

A First:

Last night was my First suport group meeting, the First meeting for the group, and the First support group for my Bariatic Conselor!!!  I was the only one who had not had the surgery yet.  I was a sponge--I sucked up information so fast it would put Bounty Paper Towels to shame!!!!! 

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ready to get losing!!!!!!

A Last:

I have been thinking alot about the foods that I will not be able to eat after my surgery--cereal, pizza, corn on the cob, almonds, Cokes, etc...  I do relize that after everything settles down, I might be able to eat these things. 

But for now, I am having "Food Funerals".  It's name was Pizza

The family was gathered.  Prayers were said.  The Ceremony commenced.  Leftovers were placed in a box and the progression to the dumpster started.  The only member of the slow moving parade was me.  I was not dressed in black and I was not sad.  I was full and happy! 

But I knew it was the Last time I would have Pizza over for a very long time!!!!

Saturday, September 24, 2011


So I have lost 12 pounds!

I went to my Bandster in Waiting (BIW) appointment with my dietician/fitness guru! They did a breathing test thingy and found out that I burn 1984 calories just sitting in a chair. In order to loss weight, my calorie intake needs to be less than 1532. Cool!

And I have to start exercising.........ugh! I am allergic to exercising--it makes me break out in sweat!!! Soooooo.....Target is across the parking lot from my work. I drove completely around the outer perimeter of the parking lot. It is one half mile. Monday, I will start walking around it during my lunch hour. One time for two weeks then twice a week for a full mile. 3 times a week working up to more! I am excited and I hope my excitement will be my motivation and I won't need more!

People are noticing that I have lost a bit of weight. Those that know that I am a BIW say the most insensitive things. "Well, if you have lost weight doing what you are doing, why dont you just keep it up and not have the surgery?" "You are not fat enough for a lap band!" "All you need to do is watch what you eat and exercise." "You are a strong person-you dont need that surgery!" I know they mean well, but don't they realize I HAVE done all that and yes I do lose weight, but I fail to keep it off? Now I am fatter than I have EVER been? You have to be a strong person to work with your lap band to make it work! I am just!

I went to a Daughter of the King retreat this weekend. One of my room mates was a Bandster! She was banded three years ago and has lost 130+ pounds! She is a little over half way to her goal! She answered every single one of my questions--let me feel her port and see and touch her scars--told me about the horrors she had with her surgery--how she ate too much, stretching out her pouch, ending up in the hospital for 3 days. So after frighting the living bajoosers out of me, she began telling me the good things about her lap band and became very encouraging! I watched her eat and she ate everything that was served (and it was an endless delicious buffet). She also confessed she has not been in for a fill, doesn't watch what she eats and she is not losing weight for quite a while. Then---as we were standing in line for lunch I said to her, "My surgery is the first week of December. Why don't you join me on the liquid diet?" and you know what she said? " I will! I will in support of you and perhaps it will get me off this plateau and stay me going again!". *****Happy Face*****

Well, that is it! I had a good weekend. I made a new friend. I got answers to lap band questions. I have an excerise plan of action. I helped someone. I am feeling better.

But most of all, I know that I am loved and I can say wholehearted....... IT IS WORTH IT!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Stomach flu


I haven't had the stomach ful in a very very long time. I never, and I mean NEVER, want it again!

Question to all the Pro Bansters in the www: what happens to your lap band if you get the stomach flu? My stomach hurts from throwing up so much. Does it cause damage? Ugh!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Muscle Milk: opinions, please!

So I am struggling with finding a protien drink/powder that is not DISGUSTING!!!! 

I've tried Joe Robb (BLEH!), Betty Lou (okay), Pure Protein (the aftertaste kills me), and Myo???? (ugh).  Today I tried Chocolate Muscle Milk.  It was not bad and I got it past my nose!  My taste buds were pleasantly surprised and pleased. It was not the light so I reckon it had too much of something.  That's probibly why I liked it. 

Payday is next week and I am going to order the Unjury Starter Kit.  However, I would like to try to find something that I can pick up locally and not have to rely on ordering over the www. 

Your thoughts please????? 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I am not ALONE!!!

So........after verbalizing my apprehension yesterday, I have found out just how BLESSED I am! 

People who do not even know me, uplifted and encouraged me!  Not only that, the suggestions on how to deal with these scary feelings and quetions are outstanding!  Also, the friendship offers and the "call me if you need me " attitudes have really touched my heart!  Thank you to all you wonderful persons who commented and emailed me.  I am ever so grateful! 

Just about everyone, expressed that they were so glad they had done it.  Many shared that too had my same worries and have made lists just like my "is it worth it" list!  The failures and successes they shared has been very settling.  I am NOT alone.

I am still a little scared and apprehensive, still overwhelmed by it all, but I can say with certaintiy........




Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Apprehension....... ***sigh***

It is said that thinking can get you in trouble. I think I am in trouble because I have been thinking about A LOT of things!!!

Thought #1: Is "It" worth it? You have to determine what "IT" is. "IT" will be different for every person. For me, right now, "IT" is Lap Band. Is "IT" worth the $$$--the liquid diet--the watching what I am eating--the water walk (frequent trips to the bathroom because of drinking alot of water)--the hunt for a protein drink that won't make me gag--exercising--pain, muscle aches,.........oh, the list is HUGH! ***sigh***
Is "IT" worth it? YES

Thought #2: Life will change. It is up to me if it will be a good or bad change. It MUST BE a mind set change......but it will take a long time----am I up for this? Am I ready for the "long haul"?

Thought #3: I am thinking the key to remaining focused is remembering why....why do I want the Lap Band, is "IT" worth it........

...To be healthy
...I am tired of being fat.
...So I don’t feel disgusted looking at myself in the full-length mirror
...To fit comfortably in an airplane seat.
...To be able to run up a flight of stairs.
...To not sweat so much.
...To be able to seat in a chair with arms and feel comfortable.
...To never have to worry again whether I will fit in a booth at a restaurant.
...So my feet don’t hurt so much.
...So my knees don’t hurt so much.
...So my back doesn’t hurt so much.
...So I’m not always huffing and puffing when I walk so far.
...So I don't have to put a washcloth under my pot belly to prevent chaffing
...So I can buy clothes anywhere.
...So I don’t feel out of place in a “normal” size clothing store.
...So I can paint my toenails
...So I don’t feel so out of control about my eating.
...So I am not constantly hungry.
...To be satisfied on small amounts of really good food.
...To enjoy my food
...So that I have more energy.
...So that I don’t ever have to deal with discrimination just due to my size.
...To sit on the floor and not have to do ridiculous maneuvers to get up.
...To be able to cross my legs properly.
...So my ankles don’t get swollen when it’s hot out or after work.
...So I dont have to use so much powder so my fat rolls won't stick together
...So I can get closer to the table when I’m eating to avoid getting food on the "boobshelf"
...To get off blood pressure meds.
...To have a regular towel wrap ALL the way around me.
...So that I never have to see the term “morbidly obese” (unless combined with “formerly”) on my medical chart.
...To be the size my mind's eye sees
...To not tolerate Texas summers
...To be successful at losing weight for the first time ever.
...So my husband has a hot wife.
...So that when my husband tells me that he thinks I’m beautiful no matter what I weigh, I don’t think he’s just humoring me.
...So that if I’m ever stuck in a tall building during an emergency, I’ll know I can get down all the stairs.
...To go hiking again
...To prove to myself that I can meet any goal I set
...To be able to wear high heels comfortably
...To wear pretty bras and not just huge, functional ones.
...So I can wipe butt clean with no struggles
...So I don’t have to keep starting new diets in hopes that this will be “the one”.

Is "IT" worth it?

Ya-----I think it is!

PS: I must thank Stephanie at Electric Lady Band for making this list that I used to describe my thoughts exactly! It's amazing how much we have in common! Thanks Stephanie!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Good on ME!!!!

There were chocolate chip cookies at work today. I had one! Yup, you heard me - ONE! That is a great acompliship for me. Eating 5 to 6 is nothing to me--in fact it is normal for me to do so! I was not an out of control pig today!

I also drank 40oz of water today. I do not drink water that much. But I did half the water today.

I am very proud of myself!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What was that!!!!!!!

The strangest thing happened last night!

I was eating a soft pretzel and suddenly I felt as if I was about to throw up! I rush over to the sink expecting to "toss my cookies"! (or rather pretzel!) You know---excessive saliva, abdomen convulsive, and dry heaving. Nothing came up! But my body was working very hard to produce something! With ever heave I thought "here it comes"! But nothing happened!

Then I got to thinking. I wonder if God is showing me what the Lap Band term "productive burping" (AKA: PB'ing) means. Remember, I am not a "Bandster" yet.

So is that what PB'ing is like?


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I have a WLS Buddy!!!!!!!

I had my second appointment with Dr. Ganta this morning. I've lost 4.5lbs! New life HERE I COME!!!!

While waiting I was talking to the other people waiting. There were two ladies--one who had already had a WLS  procedure and one who was a "Lady in Waiting" like me!!!!.  Having never seen a stranger and not having a shy bone in my body, I talked their ears off.

I have been curious about how the port feels after the Lap Band surgery so I asked which procedure she's had...............
"Lap band---"
"Oooooooo! Can I feel your port?"
So right there in the lobby, I was mashing on this girl's tummy feeling her Lap band port. It was a "touchy feely" kind of moment.  It feels like a lump that s all!!!

Then I got talking to the other "Lady in Waiting". We talked about protein. How I had tried some and found them to be DISGUSTING!!!!! They both made suggestions--and "Lady in Waiting" said she is drinking them now!  I was surprised and when I ask her why already, she said why not? She's going to be drinking them after the surgery anyway!  Good idea--I have a feeling I going to become a "heavy drinker" soon!!!

Anyway.......the confab went on touching many subjects, when insurance came up.
To make a long story short (I know--too late!)--"Lady in Waiting" and I work at the same company!!!!

I have a WLS Buddy!  Support is Success!!!! 

Monday, September 5, 2011

ARRGH----My Family Knows!!!!!!!!

It's Labor Day. In my World that means a Feast at my Mom's house! There is so much food that you can eat for days on the leftovers.

So I did not do my normal grazing because I am on the doctor supervised diet. My sister noticed and asked what was up. I told her I was having Lap Band surgery and she loudly exclaimed, "Well, good for you!". That drew the attention of all the others present and "inquiring minds want to know" so....... Do you remember playing "telephone" as a child?

Let's just say my family knows and you know what?........ Everyone and I mean EVERYONE is supportive and excited for me!!!!!

I was and am surprised!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Fluxion--The Definition

Fluxion: the action of flowing or changing.

So....I could do the AA intro--"Hi! My name is Cheri and I am fat." No surprise there! Just look at me- I am not a closet fatty!

But the word "fluxion" really describes me right now. Well not just now, for the last 7 years. (see my other blogs if you really want to know how).

I have decided that I am tired of being fat-my Body is starting to let me know it is tired of it too. On August 18th (5 days after my birthday--Happy Birthday To Me!), I started the procedures to have Lap Band Surgery. I have visited with my surgeon, Dr. Ganta, gotten funding, contacted and received letters from Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, started a 3 month doctor supervised diet (I have lost 7 1/2 lbs--yay me!), and met with Katie, the nutritionist and exercise guru. I will meet with Katie and go to the cardiologist on September 13th. I see Dr. Ganta on September 7th and since I am having a hard time finding someone to give me a Psych Evaluation, I will talk to him about it. I do not want or need long time psychiatric care, so no one is willing to give me an evaluation. Then I need to get the clearance letter from my PCP and all is done!

I am hoping to have the procedure late November or early December.....

I have scoured the www and have read every blog on Lap Band Journeys I can find. I reckon a blog is a "requirement" for accountability so I've started mine.

Please join me during my " fluxion" to a healthier Me!
My stats: 5' 4", 270 lbs, 54 years old.